We love you Grandpa Dukie!

Ok... so everytime I go to blog I just start sobbing my eyes out. We lost Jasons dad last thursday morning. I had a strong impression to go see grandpa wed night to make gingerbread houses and I got a call from Jason saying he was going to be home late because he was busy with his church calling. I was very frustrated and had told him that night that I wanted the girls to spend time with grandpa since it had been a while. ( Grandpa had been in the hospital for the past 3 months and had been out for about a week). We decided that it would have to wait until the next night. We get a call from Jasons mom the next morning at 6am saying that his dad had stopped breathing at around 5am. We were DEVASTATED. I have never lost anyone so young and so close to me. My kids called him Grandpa Duke after his dog! He only had 2 grandchildren (my girls) and they were #1!!!! You know your kids are special at the grandparents house when they have their own stockings there. I don't even know what to say.... it certainly doesn't feel like Christmas around my house. I am trying to get into the spirit but it is very difficult. Grandpa Duke was so amazing to my girls and we will forever miss him. He had a lung disease that he couldn't beat. I am grateful that he is in a happier place right now. I feel so selfish that I am so upset for my family because he truly is in a better place. We have been blessed with such amazing family and friends. We had so many people help us out this week while we were planning the funeral. Jason and I are so grateful to all of our loved ones who truly care about us. We had meals everynight of the week and also had so many of our friends and family that supported us. Chuck was such an amazing person who touched so many lives. He would give the shirt off his back for anyone! We will miss him so much and I hope I can get through this next year without being a wreck because he is not here for all of our kids events. When you get an impression to visit a loved one, don't put it off. You never know when the next time you will see them again. We can't wait to see you again Grandpa Duke!This explains Grandpa! Ava & Grandpa in Laguna
Grandma & Grandpa playing w/ Emmie on Easter!Grandpa & Em in Laguna. I love this picture of them!Halloween 06' My kids loved to see his costume!

Happy Birthday Cindy!

I just want to wish my mother in law a Happy Birthday! She has been Jasons step mom since he was 8 and has always been there for him. She has been through so much these past 3 months and we hope and pray that she stays strong! Jasons dad has been in the hospital for over 3 months and she has faithfully been there everyday. We hope you have a wonderful Birthday Cindy and we can't wait to celebrate it with you. We love you and are so grateful you came into Jasons life. Grandpa, Emmie and Grandma Christmas 06'
Grandma Cindy & Ava Christmas 06'

Home & Gift Boutique

You won't want to miss this!!!!!!!!

Happy 18th Lacey!

Lacey 1st day of school, Senior year!
Lace & I in Canada
Lace & Jason at airport
Some of us girls in New YorkDad & Lace in LB on a sunset cruise

My little sister Lacey turns 18 today! I just want her to know what a great person she is and how proud I am of her. Both of my little sisters have turned out to be such nice, good girls! It's so sad that they don't live here but we still get to visit often! If my daughters turn out as good as her I would be the happiest mom around! What a great example you are setting for your nieces and nephews! I am so proud of you and your accomplishments Lacey! I love you and hope you have so much fun today with your friends! (My parents are flying her and her friends to Catalina Island in a helicopter to go to lunch and shop!) WOW, have things changes since we all turned 18!!!!! Just kidding Dad! We love you Lacey!

Inspiring Heroes!

As I was sitting in church yesterday, I was so emotional feeling like such a failure as a parent. I am sure that all of you have felt this way before. Most of you know that I have been having some major issues with Emmies school (Higley School District). Shocker, I know! When we took her to school for her first day back in August to meet the teacher etc., I didn't have a GREAT feeling. We sat down with a team of 10 or so people to do her IEP (individualized educational program). We couldn't come to an agreement on ANYTHING, so we agreed that they couldn't "meet her needs". I won't go into detail about all the nice things they said to us regarding our daughter that had my husband flying across the table ready to knock some people out! Needless to say... Emmie has been home with me for over 3 months. They are legally responsible to get her educated and transport her to a school that can "meet her needs". Of course I haven't heard one thing from this lovely district so now we are having to get legal. Not fun! This situation with Emmie is so frustrating to me because she is so smart and needs so badly to be in school. She is so bored at home with me! (wouldn't you be?) For the past 2 1/2 yrs she has been at an amazing school that has taught her so much. I don't want her to lose the things she has learned. She is cognitive and knows what is going on around her and deserves to receive an education. She has a physical disability that keeps her from doing the things she would like to do. When I saw this video for the first time on my friend Kims blog over a year ago, I lost it! I began to realize what a failure of a parent I have been. This remarkable story is one you will want to see, even if you don't have a disabled child. This is an incredible love story. Dicks son, Rick has cerebral palsy which means his brain can't send correct messages to his body. This is what our daughter Emmie has. This dad feels like he is giving his son his body so he can run. This amazing father is my hero, and everytime I watch this video it remotivates me to be the kind of mom I need to be for my beautiful daughter. I am NOT going to give up and I WILL fight tooth and nail for my princess! Watch this story, it's worth the 9 minutes.....
you have to pause my music to listen!!!!

Sweet Citizens!

5 reasons I dislike going to the grocery store with my kids:
1. Ava always wants the car cart that weighs 100 lbs and is very difficult to maneuver.
2. Between pushing Emmies wheelchair and pulling the 100lb cart I knock stuff over.
3. People stare so bad with their jaws dropped to the floor like they have NEVER seen a handicapped child in their life.
4. Ava asks for everything in sight and freaks when I leave them in the big aisle to run down a small one to grab something.
5. Emmie has a hard time holding her head so i am constantly putting her head back up.

BUT...... there are times like today that I am grateful for Christ-like people that actually think of others! I left my house this morning to pick up my carpool for Avas preschool. As soon as I was going to drop them off I was headed to the grocery store to get all the Thanksgiving items I needed. When I made my first carpool stop, one mother had told me they dont have school today due to Thanksgiving! "WHAT? It's wed not thurs." What's up with these preschools taking off the week for a holiday? I'm thinking... "I guess this is going to be fun at the grocery store!" (hoping that the 100lb car cart wasn't available). WRONG!!!! So, I get out of my car and start unloading the kids. My sweet brother in law, Mason happens to walk up and helps me unload Emmies wheelchair! Thanks Mason, that made my trip a little easier! So, I'm shopping along pushing the wheelchair, pulling the car cart, talking on the phone because I am trying to get all the ingredients I need for everything so I don't have to make another trip, and i get a call from my friend Kari telling me they actually DO have pre-school today! Halleleuah! She comes and gets Ava so I unload all our stuff into a NORMAL cart so I can finish my shopping. That way, I am shopping with Emmie and a lighter cart! The grocery store was packed with all the last minute shoppers so it wasnt making our trip easy to get through the aisles. As I proceed to checkout, the sweet manager gets me out of the 30 minute line and tells me to come over to a different register and she will check me out. She was probably thinking I looked CRAZY! She says, "why dont you take your daughter and load her up while I check you out." She empties my cart for me bags it and brings it out to my car. All i had to do was run in and sign my credit card while she loaded my car! How sweet was that? I don't want ANYONE to EVER feel pity for me and my situation but that simple kind gesture made my day and made me WANT to be a better person to people like she was to me! I am grateful for people that think of others, especially this time of year! I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Avas planned wedding!

So... my kids and I were driving by the temple yesterday and I said, " Girls, there's the temple! Thats where mom and dad got married." Ava replied, that's where me and Sophie are going to get married!" I said, "no, we marry boys." She said," No mommy I am going to marry Sophie and we are both going to have baby girls after we get married!" I had to laugh. I love this age, they are so innocent! She says the cutest things and I always forget to write them down. When she grows up I can't wait to tell her that when she was 4 she was going to marry Sophie in the temple. It's so nice for Ava to have Sophie since we have waited so long for our girls to have another sibling!I love this picture of the girls! Kids grow up so fast! Laguna 06'

Pittsburgh trip!

This post is late but we had a great trip! My step-sister Amy, lives in Pittsburgh and her husband plays for the Steelers. Jason and I went out there again this year for the mon. night game and we had so much fun! Jason was in heaven! It was the Steelers 75th anniversary, mon. night game and travis was starting (#90)! There was every football legend there from the past 75 years! The fans are absolutely crazy! I have never seen anything like it! When you fly in, the entire plane chants, "Here we go steelers, here we go!" It makes me so sad that Az doesn't have fans like that. Maybe it's because there is nothing to be excited over. SAD! I'm so glad that we made it this year because after 11 years in the NFL he is retiring. I love the Kirschkes! They are the MOST humble, down to earth people. They have 3 great children and I adore them. It is always so sad to leave the kids. We had a great time staying up everynight so late laughing & talking about old times. Jason and I got to sleep in every morning and they had to get up early with their kids! I felt so bad! Thanks for the great weekend amy and trav! You sure do know how to entertain. You did such a great job mon night Trav and we are so proud of you and your accomplishments! What an amazing family! We love you guys! And mom, thanks for making it possible for us to go. We sure did miss our kids!

Happy Birthday Eileen!

It's back to back Birthdays with our moms! I want to wish my mother in law a Happy Birthday! We are so grateful to have her in our lives. She hasn't had the easiest life but she has had the best attitude! She always has a smile on her face and is always there to talk when you need her. She came to visit us this summer in laguna for a couple weeks and it was so fun to hang out! She is so good to my girls and they love when grandma Eileen comes over. Happy Birthday Eileen...We Love You and hope you have a great day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

I want to wish my mom a Happy Birthday today! She is such a great mom and I am so grateful to have her as my mother! Anytime I need her all I have to do is call. She is always there for us. My children absolutely ADORE her. When Emmie and Ava were born, my mom was living with us. She helped me out so much during that time that my kids established a strong bond with her. I think that is why she is their hero! The other night, Ava was gone with Jason and my mom happened to come over and she was in my bedroom with Emmie. Jason and Ava walked in with our dinner and we sat at the table and started eating. I knew that Ava didn't know grandma was here. If I told her she wouldn't have finished her dinner. Ava says to me, "mom, where is Emmie?" I told her that she was in my bedroom watching tv. She knows that Emmie always sits at the table with us during dinner so she replies, "all by herself?" I said, "No she is in there with grandma Bella." She got up and ran so fast to the bedroom to see grandma. I thought, "well there goes dinner." I am so glad that my kids have her. She always gives Emmie that extra time and gives her the best massages ever! We bought my mom a toy poodle a couple yrs ago for christmas and we named her Bella. Now, grandma is known in our home as Grandma Bella! We love her so much and are so proud of her! Happy Birthday Mom!

Blessed!

I feel very fortunate at this time and I can't let this go unsaid (is that a word?) Tuesday I had a Dr appt (that I was dreading because I go every 2 weeks!) 5 days previous I had been telling my friends and family that I haven't been feeling her move as often as i normally do. As my dr. is checking me he seemed a little concerned. Side note... I am very high risk for losing this little girl in the 2nd trimester because I have a blood clotting condition called Thrombophilia due to my complications at Avas birth. My uterus was embolized to stop the postpartum bleeding.
So, I tell him that I haven't felt her and he said, "I'm going to get you in tomorrow morning for an emergency ultrasound." (with a very concerned look on his face) Me, trying not to freak out, I start asking all of my questions. My main question was, "I am leaving out of town sat. morning." He said, "sweetie, you probably aren't going out of town." My heart starts racing and I of course asked, "why?" He informed me that I will probably be hospitalized and monitored for awhile because she isn't getting enough blood to survive. Thinking of all the variables, I am trying to remain calm. I have come so far, I can't imagine losing her. So that night my dad comes over to help my husband give me a priesthood blessing. I didn't want anyone to know of course because I felt that everything would be ok. There was no need to worry until the next morning if something were truly wrong. I was up all night tossing and turning. Well, what if? Thinking about little Ava, who has waited so long for this baby. I go to my ultrasound, saying 50 prayers on the way there! I felt her move a couple times while sitting in the waiting room, thinking everything is going to be just fine. I lay down and the tech says, "well, your little princess seems to be doing just fine!" I felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders! I am thinking, "thank you Heavenly Father." I am so grateful for this little girl. I was getting so choked up watching her move, I am so attached to her already! I feel I am due for a good delivery! Can it get any worse? I have come to the conclusion that I am NOT made to have babies! Let's hope and pray all goes well! Sorry for the long post! If this doesn't make sense it's because it's 4:30am... Emmie not sleeping well! Cheers!She still looks alienish, but I'm so in love!
Cute profile!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

We had some of our neighbors over lastnight for dinner before we all went trick or treating! The kids had a great time on the bouncy thing while we ate dinner. It is so fun to finally have our neighborhood built up. People are finally staying at home for Halloween. The Crandalls hooked up their trailer to their rhino and we piled all the kids on it. They loved it! I'm so glad that Shannon and Emily helped me with dinner and setting up. It is so nice to have good friends! Emmie and Ava looked so cute! Ava has finally gotten the "trick or treat" thing. It makes Halloween a whole lot more fun when the kids are old enough and enjoy it! Hope you all had a great night!

Bad Mom?

Anyone that knows my little Em bug knows that she is obsessed with Strawberry Shortcake. This is going on for like 3 yrs and she won't watch anything BUT that! It's kind of annoying! Ava woke up for the 2nd day sick. Jason took Emmie to Stake Conference and I stayed home with Ava. So, Ava hasn't been exposed to cartoons yet due to Emmies obsession with Strawberry. She has NO clue what they are. After they were off to church, we took a bath and cuddled in my bed. I decided to put cartoons on for her because I am sick of Strawberry too! She was so excited, i felt so bad. My other reasoning for not wanting her to watch TV is because I can't stand when kids beg for toys they see on commercials! When Jason returned all she could talk about was all the cartoons she watched and how she loved them. I feel so bad that my daughter is 4 and has never had the opportunity to watch cartoons. Don't get me wrong... she has a DVD player in her room and watches all movies. She finally "GETS" what everyone is talking about when they talk about Hannah Montana! Am I a bad mom or what?

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Monday, the 22nd was our 8th year anniversary.I was out of town so we decided to celebrate tonight because we have a sitter! It's been 8 blissful years and I wouldn't trade them for the world! We have been through alot and it has only made us stronger. We had complications at our daughter Emmie's birth which caused her to be severely brain damaged. She has cerebral palsy and the doctors had advised us to not keep her with us on this earth. They said that it ups the divorce rate to 80%. We knew they were wrong and decided to choose a different route. It has only made us as people and our marriage stronger! I couldn't imagine anyone else by my side through this amazing experience but my best friend and husband! Thanks for making my life amazing and helping me raise these special spirits! I love You hon! (he has never been on my blog!)I wasn't able to scan our wedding photo. I was a few lbs lighter!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

Happy Birthday to my Dad! My sister and I went out to Laguna Beach yesterday to spend today with my dad. We had such a great time! We just wish we could have stayed longer! I am so lucky to have been blessed with such an amazing dad. He is the Patriarch of our family and he ALWAYS knows best. Whenever any of us need advice, we always turn to dad. My husband and children adore him as well. Thanks dad for always being there for me. I'm so glad we got to spend the day with you. We Love You!
My dad and I at the Hill Cumorah pageant in Palmyra, New York. July 07'
Emmie and Grandpa on her 5th Birthday!
Ava and Grandpa in LB Summer 07'

Belle and Cinderella

So... today Ava and Sophie (cousin/bff) were invited to Sadie Lewis' bday party. Jodi (sadie's mom) threw the cutest 4 yr old bday bash i have ever seen. Having an October bday they get to dress up and have a Halloween ball! It was the cutest thing ever. I will post more pics when Jodi sends me some. I took a couple right before the girls went. They are so excited about Halloween this year. We got Avas costume this week and i have to beg her to take it off to go to sleep. When we bought the costume the other day she asked, " mom, who is going to be my prince?" ahhhh.... so cute! I don't know anyone that will be able to talk their son into being the beast for me halloween night!!!!!????? What a fun age!

Where's Ava?

Ok... So, I was in my bedroom tonight talking to my mother in law about life and Emmie and Ava were with us. I had called Jason and asked him to stop and get some milk. He mentioned that he was with his friend and he wasn't going to put him out!!!! (that's just his way of getting out of going to the grocery store at 10 pm.) So, we kept talking and all the sudden, I said to my MIL, " where's ava?" She replied, "not sure, haven't heard her in a while." I text my husband and ask him if he by any chance decided to grab her and take her to the store. Nope, not so lucky! Then, I go out to the garage and my front door and yell her name. No answer! We are looking for her for about 5 minutes and kept yelling her name. Needless to say, Ava was so exhausted that she had fallen asleep in her room on the floor with her HEELS on and all! Poor Ava! I didn't even get to say goodnight and do our nightly rituals!

Off to Nauvoo

Tomorrow morning we are off to Nauvoo! We are so excited. We are going with my side of the family for 4 days. My parents gave this to us for Christmas in addition to our New York (Palmyra) trip which we did this summer! It should be an awesome experience. It's Jasons first time! Thanks to my mom, we will not have our kids! I don't know what i would do without her! She's the best! I will post when i get home!

Finally!!!

Thanks to my friend Emily, she set my whole site up. Thanks Emily, your the best! I am so excited to finally start blogging and keeping track of our crazy lives. Hopefully i don't flake out after a week! We will wait and see......