Sisters

Yesterday my girls and I were driving in the car by ourselves. We have Emmies video playing in our car in place of Strawberry Shortcake. I don't want Elsie to forget her. I know their relationship will fade as Elle grows up so I am grateful for videos and pictures to help keep them alive. My conversation with Ava struck a core with me as they were watching her video.

Ava: Mom... I really miss Emmie's smile and how she would stick her tongue out.

Mom: I know, it was the cutest thing ever, I miss it too.

Ava: How come when I stick mine out it's not cute?

Mom: I'm not sure babe, but Emmie just had a way that everything she did was so sweet and innocent. (I thought it was funny that she had tried to do the same as Em to see what she looked like)

Ava: I know... I miss her mom.

Mom: Me too.... more than you will know! What do you miss most about Em?

Ava: I miss getting you trachs and diapers, massaging her feet, brushing her hair. I miss helping her lift her head up and wiping her mouth. I really wish she didn't want to go back to Heavenly Father. I want her to stay with us.

Mom:(tears flowing down my face) I'm so sorry you lost your sister sweetie. I want you to know you WILL see her again and it will be a glorious reunion.

Ava: I am so sorry you lost your daughter. I feel so bad for you.

This conversation brought tears to my eyes for many reasons. I think what Ava was trying to say was that she misses serving her sister. She truly loves her sister more than anything and misses "helping/ serving" her. I don't ever think I could ever teach my 7 year old out of a book or lesson plan on how to have the "pure love of christ" and how to serve someone the way she has for 7 yrs. Only Emmie could come to this earth and teach her that precious lesson. I am beyond grateful for the relationship they have with one another. Not very many children have the opportunity to have a sweet little angel live in their home and help care for them. Sometimes I would feel sorry for Ava because I felt like I put so much pressure on her to do this and that for Emmie. She never complained, not once! I felt bad that she didn't have the "typical" sister relationship that I have with my sister. I felt like she got robbed before Elsie came along. Now looking back, I am so grateful she had the opportunity to serve Emmie. Not very many children get to do that for a sister who never plays or speaks to them. It really is a gift and I feel Heavenly Father blessed us beyond measures to have this life. It was such a different life that I can't really explain but I know I miss it more than anything. Life was definitely more challenging and it felt unfair at times but I wouldn't trade one thing about it. I am grateful for sisters. We all knew how much Emmie loved her sisters through her eyes and the way she would look at them. Ava has been praying about the day she is reunited with Emmie. She had a melt down tonight after her prayers and felt guilty for not scratching Emmie's back the night before she passed. I told her how grateful Emmie was for all the nights she "did" scratch her back and one day she will repay her. It will feel so good be the recipient of Emmie's hugs. I know we are all looking forward to it. I hope I can do my part here and raise my other children so we can all return to be in our Heavenly Fathers presence with our sweet Em~Bug. That will be an amazing day for me. I love and miss her more than anything and I hope time goes by quickly.

"Our" first day of school

Our first day of school was not what I had expected. Emmie sitting in her wheelchair with Avas arm around the chair and Elsie sitting on Emmies lap was what I envisioned. I was crying all morning trying to stay strong for Ava. She didn't need any added stress to her day. They have been 1 year apart in school growing up, so Ava has been in all of Emmie's first day back to school pictures. These changes will not be easy but I know I have to get used to them.
Ava has had a difficult beginning this year. I am praying it gets easier as the weeks go on. Prior to all that has been going on, we decided for Ava to do 1st grade again this year. She is one of the youngest for her grade and I am so glad I made the right decision for her. Most of her friends from our ward/ neighborhood are in 1st grade so she is happy as can be!
Elsie started pre-preschool this year with her friend Crew. They are so stinkin cute together. She wasn't very excited about the backpack and going to preschool but I know she will adjust soon. She had been with friends and family so much during Emmies hospital stay it has been hard for her to separate from me. I am so grateful for friends and family who have helped us during these difficult times. I know my children have more than felt the love from others when I couldn't be there and I am so grateful for that.

1st grade!

Love this girl and am so grateful for her obedience!

Elsie wasn't liking the idea of preschool. She had been neglected by me for 10 days so it was difficult to send her off. My sweet friend Shannon took her to her first day of school since I was busy getting things finalized at the mortuary and cemetery. It wasn't the best feeling but I knew my girls were ready for some normalcy in their life!

This is pretty much how I was feeling too!

The egg burrito (her favorite) that dad had made, wasn't helping!

Goodness gracious... I love this girl! She is wearing what Emmie wore to preschool. Love those hand me downs. Emmie kept them in "perfect" condition!

Hope everyone had a better first day of school than we did! Life will get easier... I know it!

It's FINALLY gone

This tooth has been driving me NUTSO!!! Ava is a very sensitive child. Every time I have tried to pull this tooth, she is left in tears and won't even come near me. It has been hanging by a thread for over a month. No Joke! I have tried to have Jason try to talk her in to pulling it, but she wanted nothing to do with it. Then, I talked Grandma Bella in to wrapping floss around it and once she got it there I told her to yank it hard, but Ava flipped, so we had to take it off. I have tried several times to pull it in the middle of the night but she wakes up. I know... I am mean but dang I can't seem to be able to look at it anymore. Anyhow... finally on Saturday night it fell out in her sleep. Hallelujah!!! She came and woke me up (I had no idea what time it was, but it was dark out) to tell me about it. I was excited but rolled over. Later, after I woke, I found out she called aunt Tracey and Grandma Bella very early to tell them too! Sorry guys.. she was one excited little girl!

Look at that beautiful smile... so much better!

She was so excited to put her tooth in her little fairy bag. The tooth fairy was very generous and left her $5. A month earlier I told her I would give her $10 to pull it but that wasn't going to cut it.

Yes, go ahead and judge me.... our kids sleep in our bedroom. Do you like her air mattress? Pathetic, I know. She's not complaining so who cares?!?!

She was excited about her money but when she walked out the door monday morning I said, "make sure and put your money in a safe spot and don't forget to pay your tithing." She said, "nope, I'm not going to pay it, thats called wasting money mom." I said, "I guess I know what our Family home Evening lesson is going to be on tonight." She replied, " BLAH BLAH BLAH."

Wow!!! I guess I know what else we will be discussing. She was up till 10pm doing dishes for the bad attitude she has had lately. I can't wait to see what decision she makes on Sunday with her tithing. I think it will be the right one. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the teenage years! Gotta love that cute girl, she growing up right in front of my eyes.

What is something your mom always says to you?

I saw this on my sister in law Audras blog and I thought, "hmmm.... this could be funny." It has been saved in a draft for quite some time now! I wrote this exactly in her words....

1. What is something mom always says to you?
     Ava: go get your dance clothes on

2. What makes mom happy?
     Ava: when I take care of my sisters  (how sad is this?)

3. What makes mom sad?
     Ava:When I don't take care of my sisters ( I think I want to cry... maybe I rely on her a little too much?)

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
     Ava: When we take pictures you do funny things when you dance

5. What was your mom like as a child?
     Ava: You liked playing with your friends

6. How old is your mom?
     Ava: 32 (got that one right!)

7. How tall is your mom?
    Ava: I don't know mom

8. What is Mom's favorite thing to do?
     Ava: clean up! (nice)


9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
     Ava: go shopping and eat lunch (I wish!)

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
      Ava: You'll be on the the biggest loser (I applied for the biggest loser and she has been followed around by our camera so she knew that if I got picked we would be on TV. Funny! And no... I didn't get picked!)

11. What is your mom really good at?
      Ava: riding a bike (we have been doing this alot since the weather has been so nice!)

12. What is your mom not very good at?
      Ava: cleaning her bed (nice!)

13. What does your mom do for a job?
      Ava: she takes care of Emmie and Elsie (k... sad. what about Ava? Maybe we need some counseling?!?!?)

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
      Ava: salad (I was on a diet at this point. Many of you that know me realize these things don't last long! LOL!)

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
      Ava: you let me play and not go to dance (do I get the mother of the year award?)

16. If your mom were a cartoon character what would she be?
      Ava: a mom

17. What do you and your mom do together?
      Ava: we play house

18. How are you and your mom the same?
      Ava: we have blonde hair and the same eyes and mouth

19. How are you and your mom different?
      Ava: you have a baby and I don't

20. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
     Ava: nordstrom (nice one!)

21. How do you know your mom loves you?
     Ava: cause you smile

22. What does your mom like most about your dad?
     Ava: you like his muscles (not really, but this answer sure did make him smile!!!!)

Happy Birthday to.....

             

             ELLA

               

Yes, our 5 year old daughter has birthday parties for her stuffed animal, Ella. Ella has been a part of our family for almost 5 years and is considered Avas best friend. Let's just say, we have had more than one bday party for her. Last year, Ava talked her dad into a Peter Piper birthday party for Ella (we obviously had nothing better going on that particular fri night) so he obliged. This year she made invitations, cupcakes and left over dinner with a picnic on our tramp in the back yard with the yummy lawn that has cow manur all over it and we couldn't say NO! She has been talking about this party for a couple days and it was just our little family but it was perfect! Can I just say how depressing it is that our kids are growing up so fast? Jason and I were discussing today on the tramp of how we wish time would freeze. Our kids are at the most perfect ages and life is great. I don't want them growing anymore. It's so nice to have my 2 oldest so close together. I know that whatever Ava is planning, Emmie is wanting to do the same because they are so close in age. It is so comforting to have Ava include Emmie in almost everything. She is an amazing sister to both of them and I am so blessed to have her be my little helper.

    Happy Birthday Ella! We hope to have another great year with you. You have been through it all with us and Ava truly does consider you one of her sisters! (I know that sounds crazy,but it's so true). I am so sorry that I use you as a pillow at times. Just know that Ava has her best interest for you and lets me "HAVE IT" when I use you as my pillow. I hope you don't take it personal. CHEERS!


Ella as she being sung to! Notice the crazy ear. It has been rubbed on one too many nights and had to be sewn back on. Grandma didn't do such a great job! It got sewn on backwards. Sorry Ella!

Our little family. Elsie was sleeping during the party and Ava was begging to wake her but I just couldn't do it. Sorry Elsie. Hopefully you won't be napping next year!

Beautiful Emmie. She loved us singing to Ella. 

Ava "helping" Ella blow out her candle. Em in the background watching every move Ava makes!

She is into doing her hair on her own. Love the barretts at the bottom of the ponies!

Ava was in heaven. She is so sweet!

Ava and Emmie!

Done with that "game"!

 Anyone that knows Ava, is aware that she takes her time to warm up to people if she hasn't seen them in a while or isn't in the mood to talk. She can even be this way to my sister which is a surprise. Jason and I have struggled with Ava in this area and have tried to teach her to not be shy and to talk to people when they talk to her. It has been very frustrating because we have NO control over it. It seems impossible at times to have a child like this when Jason and I are the complete opposite. We on the other hand are very aggressive and outspoken.  We have some friends that live in our neighborhood that we see on a daily basis and often come over for dinner. Well... by the time they leave at night Ava is barely warming up. They left out of town and we haven't seen them all week and Ava has missed them. Ava and I had stopped at In and Out Burger yesterday and we sat in the car and ate our lunch together and she says to me....

Ava: Mom, I'm not going to be shy anymore to David and Britany.

Mom: Well thats good. What made you decide that?

Ava: I don't know, I'm just done playing that game.

Mom: What game is that?

Ava: The not talking game.

Mom: I didn't know you were playing a game. Mom and Dad would be so proud of you if you weren't shy to people.

Ava: I'm going to play a different game.

Mom: Really? What game is that?

Ava: (really loud) Hi! I'm Ava (with a BIG smile on her face)!

Then 2 seconds later as I am shoving a cheeseburger into my mouth, this truck pulls up to us ( we were sitting in the parking lot) and honks his horn. I rolled my window down and he proceeds to ask me if I was in need of some theatre equipment. I replied, "thats ok, we already have some". Ava pipes up really loud and says, "ya, we have a game room and me and my daddy watch tv in there all the time". I didn't even know she knew our game room was theatre equipment. I guess she was right, she is done with the SHY game. Ever since she has been a different child. I am glad that she is growing out of playing that "game". Although I never knew it was a GAME! 

 (Those of you who know Ava recognize that this is a HUGE step!)

Kids say the darndest things!

I want to start documenting the cute things that Ava says so I don't forget. We went swimming last night and Jason saw a big spider on the decking and was killing it with a shovel (he is so scared of bugs!). Ava and I were in the pool and I said to him, "don't kill it, it could be pregnant". Side note..... Scott killed a big spider at the Simas' house one night and it was preggo and a hundred spiders scattered when he killed it! It was NASTY! Jason said," I already killed it". Ava swims up to me and says in the most innocent sweet voice, "Mom, I didn't know spiders get married"! I really don't like my kids growing up.

We have another Kindergartner ✄

Once again, I can't believe Ava is in Kindergarten. My girls aren't in the same district, therefore they started on different days. After much thought I decided to put Ava in ½ day Kindergarten because I think she still may be a little young for full day. I'm not quite sure I made the right decision. Her teacher is amazing and I LOVE all the kids in her class but I feel like the 3 hours goes WAY too fast! Plus, I am driving her both ways because I don't have anyone to carpool with due to my decision to enroll her in another district. I guess we will see how it goes. I NEVER realized how nice it is that I get front door bus service for Emmie. This taxi cab thing isn't going very well and it's only been 2 days. Plus, you have to wait in this long line to pick up your child. Today I waited for 20 minutes in the car line while my daughter was sweating in the sun. However, I'm going to jump off my soap box and be grateful that 2 of my kids are at school and have great teachers and great kids in their classrooms. Life isn't that bad. She had a great first day and loved the playground and drinking fountains!?? Yes, she was so excited that there are drinking fountains there. Doesn't take much to make her happy! Here are a few pictures.....



Couldn't leave Elsie out!

She was so excited she couldn't stop smiling until we got inside and then this was her new POKER face......

Check out this look that she is giving the girl next to her. She is taking it all in! 

"Mom, please leave". I certainly couldn't get a smile once we entered the classroom!

I'm 5!

After much deliberation, Ava finally decided to have a swim party in her new pool for her birthday. It was a tough decision let me tell you. She loved having most of her cousins and a few friends over to celebrate. There was so much excitement about the "party" and then the morning of Ava was all shy towards her friends. Maybe it's a maturity factor. Anyways, she did have a lot of fun as time went on. We swam, ate pizza and cake, opened presents and just relaxed! It was actually fun for me too because I got to relax and swim with the kids! She is already on to talking about turning 6 and what she is going to do for her party. Getting a little ahead of ourselves! Anyways, she had a great party and loved playing with all her friends and cousins. Thanks for coming everyone! I can't believe I didn't get a group shot of everyone.

We had to have a "Princess" party again . These figurines were on her cake. Thanks for taking pictures for me Trace! 

And... the "Princess" eating her cake

Cannon, Kaylea and Macey

Some of her friends.... Kali, Sophie and Halle

Best Buddies

She promised me she wouldn't be shy when we all sang to her. What do you think? It's definitely a shy face!  

Friends and cousins!

Kali, Soph and Ava

Little munchkin fell asleep in the pool!

Friends Forever

Cannon and Elsie. He just LOVES her! I love that she has found some of her fingers. Now she needs to learn how to use them to get herself to sleep instead of depending on me!

The girls

Macey

Em bug, Me, Cannon, Elsie and Ava
Kam. I love this kid, he is such a sweetheart. She wanted to invite boys!

Opening Presents. Funny how only the girls were interested in watching this. All the boys stayed busy in the pool!

ava

Grandmas and Carrie

Her Cousins. I love that they are all so close in age.

I love this picture of Macey.