Look who loves cartoons.....

...and I couldn't be more thrilled! My youngest girls have never fallen for my TV trick (you know the hour in the morning that helps mom to get some stuff done.) They both have always followed me around stuck to my leg like glue. Emmie LOVED LOVED LOVED strawberry and we think Ivan may be the same way with TV. Let's hope it sticks! Mom needs all the extra time she can get! :)

Happy "Love" Day

Definition of love is spelled: TIME

I can't remember the General Authority that stated that, but it has always stuck with me. I have always loved Valentines Day. Not only for expressing my love towards my wonderful husband, but for my children as well. They love this holiday and so do I! They are so excited to wake up to heart pancakes. Elle claims Santa is bringing her a gift. Nope.... just a little something from mom and dad! I love that my kids are excited for J and I to exchange our gifts and have our family candle light dinner. Watching Ava this past week as she made her mailbox for all her valentines to enter and watching the joy on her face as she writes each one of her valentines, brings me joy. She is so excited to give them to all her friends at school.

I have always looked forward to Emmies school party, on this particular day. Mrs. Stephanie and Grandma always did such a wonderful job making these sweet kiddos feel so special and loved. I have always taken Ava out of school to go to Emmies class and participate in her fun parties. They are always the BEST. This year is going to be different and I am sad about it. We always spent so much TIME with Emmie. I never once got frustrated or angry towards her and maybe thats one of the reasons she's so special to me. You could feel her love when she was in the room. It would radiate. I want her to know how much I love and miss her on this LOVE day! She is our families one "true love."

Em being gone has put life in more perspective for me. I need to do better with my kiddos that are here and spend more TIME with them. We get so caught up with extra curricular activities, work, church callings, spending time with friends and extended family that sometimes we forget that the people that live within the walls of our home need more time with mom and dad. Life passes by too fast and it's easy to let the small things slip away. I learned from Emmie that I didn't need to buy her one thing. All she wanted from us was time. I'm so grateful I gave her that. You can never get yesterday back, so today I'm going to tell my family how much I love them and hug them a little longer.... Hope everyone has a great love day and gets to spend time with their loved ones! XOXO

These two are best buddies. It's so fun to watch how close they have become. There is nothing like a sister! Ava is so giving.. she wants to give Elle her old ipod for Valentines! I don't think Elsie is quite responsible yet! Ava would die if she knew Elle was getting ready to give Ava's new ipod touch a bath in the sink, while she was at school the other day!!

Elle of course would not cooperate after church today. She has been a little pill for me! Thanks goodness she is so cute!!

I love this girl... she is so good to me!

We watched a movie and popped popcorn tonight. While I was cleaning up my hubby decided to give our 12 week old son popcorn and claims he loved it. Nice!!

Have I mentioned how much I love this little guy?!

Our little man

I have so much to post about.... but lately I have been taking care of this sweet boy who has a cold.....

Don't you love all the build a bear accessories? They are perfect for our little man!

Big I

Although the last 8 weeks have brought many sleepless nights, mastitis, thrush, colds, emotion, lack of a clean house, newborn diapers everywhere and a big appetite, they have been such a blessing. After we lost our daughter it took me a while to get excited for this little guy. The moment I layed my eyes on him, I was hooked. Our Heavenly Father knows the beginning to the end. I know that more now than ever. My heart aches horribly and we are all trying to still get used to this new life but I feel a connection to Emmie when I look at this sweet boy. He has brought me so much joy. Plus, it certainly helps that he looks just like me!

This outfit he was wearing yesterday made me realize, I haven't blogged about him at all! Around our house he has a few nicknames already... Big I, Ivers, Bubba and Ted. Uncle Scott calls Elsie, Red Fred because of her red hair and now it's just Fred. Since we have another red head we asked him what Ivans name will be and he said Red Ted. We have nicknamed all their kids so now it's their turn. SCARY!!!!

Tender Mercies

I have been hesitant for this day for a few months. Every time I let my mind "go there", I would start to lose it. I didn't sleep at all the night before. I stayed up looking at pics of Em. All the thoughts of our annual birthday traditions were going through my head and I just couldn't believe she wasn't here. It felt so unfair. When we got up, Ava could tell I had a rough night and I was very sensitive while we read and prayed. As she was leaving for school she said, "so what are you going to do all day, sit home and cry?" I thought, "well that was rude." But honestly thought about it for a second and knew that Emmie wouldn't want me to be alone crying all day. Soon enough, a couple of my friends stopped by. I didn't have a choice. My sweet friend Shannon stayed to keep me company and help me get ready for the party that night. My sister in law Megan ran my errands so I could enjoy the day and didn't have to stress out... she was so thoughtful! I had so many people text, call, FB message me letting me know they were thinking of our family and praying for us. I definitely felt all the prayers and love. I felt like my Heavenly Father sent all these people to me that day to lift me up. It quickly went from sad to happy. It is truly amazing the way the Lord works and answers our prayers. My mom took the day off and came to the cemetery with us. It felt so nice to get through the day with so much support. I know without a doubt that Emmie was with us that night. It was so comforting. I miss her more than anything in this world. We just have to stay busy and live our lives so that we can be with her again. It seems so simple. I have a long ways to go and have so much to work on, but I am anxious for the day to be reunited with her. She is certainly a special little girl. I can only imagine the miraculous things she did in the pre- existence to be such a choice spirit. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be her mother and share this earthly journey with her. There is nothing in the world like it.

Us at the cemetery with the Simas kids. J gave a beautiful prayer. It was so sweet to see how much her cousins miss her. Cooper couldn't stop crying. Tonight when we were at Peter Piper Pizza I was looking on Coops phone and his screen saver was a picture of Emmies grave. It melted my heart and I had to fight back the tears. I don't know very many teenagers who have such big hearts with so much emotion. I am grateful for all her cousins and how much love they showed towards her. I will forever be grateful for that. It is difficult to teach... it just came natural to them.

There were many flowers, cards and treats dropped off. I am eternally grateful to live in such an amazing area surrounded by so many good friends, ward members and family. It has truly made me want to be a better person and friend. I feel so blessed.

Doing another release at our house with ALL our family... so sweet. Can't wait for the Temple:)

We had a few people who didn't know us, contact some of my family and tell them they saw Emmies balloons in the sky that evening and said they knew they were for her and how sweet it was to see them. Truly amazing.

Coop, Tay and Austin

Audra and Megan helping out of course:)

Elle and Dad

Ava and Soph leading the music... they love to be center of attention!

Us

My dad giving the lesson to our children on how we are the beneficiaries of Emmie and how we need to live our lives in order to get back to our Heavenly Father and be with Emmie. I felt her so strong during this. I love my dad and am grateful he is so in tune with the spirit. He always know what to say:)

Cousins writing their little message to Em.

Thanks to my sister Tracey for allowing me to steal her pictures. She is always there to pick up all the pieces for me!

Happy Birthday Beautiful...

My dearest Emmie....

9 years ago today, you made me a mother. I was secretly so excited you were a girl. I wanted your dad to think I didn't care because he wanted a boy. You made so many of my dreams come true. You looked exactly how we had imagined. Dark hair, blue eyes and beautiful.

Over this last week, your dad and I have been watching family videos. We came across the one when we got our first video camera so we could video you as you entered this world. I was 8 months pregnant with you and we were bickering (imagine that) whether or not you would be a soccer star or a dancer. I dreamed of you dancing and cheering just like me and he envisioned you playing sports like him. He was acting like a commentator as he was saying your name scoring a goal. We both cried as we watched the video. We had no idea what type of life was ahead of us. We were young, naive, yet so happy. We thought our world was crushed the day you were born. What was suppose to be the happiest day turned out to be devastating for such a young couple. As time passed, this new life turned out to be one I can't explain. My thoughts quickly shifted from anger to feeling like the luckiest parents alive. We had a celestial little girl who never spoke a word yet touched us and others in so many ways. Not very many parents get the opportunity to raise a choice spirit. No star athlete or dancer could ever compare to what we had. You have made me the proudest mommy in the world. You accomplished so many things and touched so many lives in the past 9 years. Your smile would light up a room. My heart is still broken and I don't expect it to ever completely heal. I still cry myself to sleep and wake up sad. But, what I do know is that you are with our Heavenly Father and his son. You are with all our loved ones. That to me is so comforting. I am so grateful for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. I know without a doubt that we will be reunited with you again. I know you are safe and you are being taken care of. As much as I mourn for you and miss you, I know you have work to do and that you are a busy little girl. I know the Lord has a plan and that we both accepted it. What a blessing you have been to me and your dad. You are such a strong little girl to come here to this earth and teach us for 8 1/2 years. What a sacrifice you have made. I know you have been watching over us and have been our administering angel. I have felt you many times since you have been gone. I still have to be a mom and put on a happy face for your sisters and brother. I am grateful that your brother was sent to me at this time. He has helped me so much and is such a sweetheart. Your sisters talk about you all the time and love you more than you can imagine. They watch all your videos and read your Strawberry Shortcake books on a daily basis. I bet you wish Ava did that while you were here. She is finally getting to be a good reader! Grandma Bella still cries when she comes over. You were such a big part of her life. She misses you so much but feels you are so happy.

You would normally be waking up this morning in our bed that would be decorated with streamers and balloons. Dad and I would be singing Happy Birthday to you as we showered you to get ready for school. I wish I was decorating tonight as you sleep. We have celebrated so many Strawberry Shortcake birthday parties with you. I know your not physically here but we will be celebrating another one tonight with all our extended family and doing a balloon release. I hope you know how much we love and miss you. I often think of the day we are reunited with you. It will be glorious.

Happy Birthday in Heaven my sweet angel, I love you more than you can imagine.....

With love,

Mom xoxo

Dad and Emmie

Emmie 7th Birthday

Emmie 2nd Birthday

Ivan Jason Check is finally here...

(This is aunt Tracey...)

Ivan Jason Check finally arrived safe and sound early this morning at 5:12 a.m.... He weighed in at 8 lbs 12 oz and is 21 1/2 inches long.

It was a long, hard delivery that ended in a c-section, which Tiff was pretty disappointed about... because of her history of internal bleeding! They are watching her very closely and have high hopes that she will recover and still be able to have more baby Checks, if that is what their desire is for the future! Tiffany had a rough labor, she is beat and is going to be very sore for the next few days. Thankfully, she has an amazing doctor who took great care of her and we know made the best decision for Tiffany and Ivan! Thank you Dr. Wilson, you were awesome!

I was invited into the O.R. as the "photographer" and was so grateful to experience those sweet, emotional moments with Jason as he greeted "his first son" (that he has been waiting so patiently for) into this world. He is a proud daddy! I have so many cute pictures, but here are just a few for now until I have time to go through the rest.

He is a beautiful baby and so far looks like big sister Elsie and even has the red hair to match! I am headed back up to the hospital to see how everyone is doing and to snuggle cute Ivan...

Just a little update...

Yep it's me... Tracey, Tiffany's sister!

Tiff is still alive and as pregnant as can be!

When I hacked into her blog just now, I had no idea that she was still documenting all that she is going through, with the loss of Emmie, and not publishing her posts! I didn't read through all her posts, mainly because it tears me up inside when I realize how much pain my sister is still dealing with! Tiff sure is a trooper and a strong one. I don't know how she is coping with it all?! I know she misses Emmie terribly, but I didn't know to the extent..... I guess it's just that she is such a happy person in general, so it's hard to know all that she is internalizing.

She has kept herself busy getting everything ready for Ivan's big arrival! We are all so anxious to finally meet him. She is going to her doctors appointment today and hoping that something has changed or maybe to get something going.... she is miserable and ready to pop! She claims... She's DONE!

I will hopefully be back soon with some exciting news and cute pictures of Ivan and Tiffany's first moments together... Until then,

Happy Tuesday!