I have been hesitant for this day for a few months. Every time I let my mind "go there", I would start to lose it. I didn't sleep at all the night before. I stayed up looking at pics of Em. All the thoughts of our annual birthday traditions were going through my head and I just couldn't believe she wasn't here. It felt so unfair. When we got up, Ava could tell I had a rough night and I was very sensitive while we read and prayed. As she was leaving for school she said, "so what are you going to do all day, sit home and cry?" I thought, "well that was rude." But honestly thought about it for a second and knew that Emmie wouldn't want me to be alone crying all day. Soon enough, a couple of my friends stopped by. I didn't have a choice. My sweet friend Shannon stayed to keep me company and help me get ready for the party that night. My sister in law Megan ran my errands so I could enjoy the day and didn't have to stress out... she was so thoughtful! I had so many people text, call, FB message me letting me know they were thinking of our family and praying for us. I definitely felt all the prayers and love. I felt like my Heavenly Father sent all these people to me that day to lift me up. It quickly went from sad to happy. It is truly amazing the way the Lord works and answers our prayers. My mom took the day off and came to the cemetery with us. It felt so nice to get through the day with so much support. I know without a doubt that Emmie was with us that night. It was so comforting. I miss her more than anything in this world. We just have to stay busy and live our lives so that we can be with her again. It seems so simple. I have a long ways to go and have so much to work on, but I am anxious for the day to be reunited with her. She is certainly a special little girl. I can only imagine the miraculous things she did in the pre- existence to be such a choice spirit. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be her mother and share this earthly journey with her. There is nothing in the world like it.
Us at the cemetery with the Simas kids. J gave a beautiful prayer. It was so sweet to see how much her cousins miss her. Cooper couldn't stop crying. Tonight when we were at Peter Piper Pizza I was looking on Coops phone and his screen saver was a picture of Emmies grave. It melted my heart and I had to fight back the tears. I don't know very many teenagers who have such big hearts with so much emotion. I am grateful for all her cousins and how much love they showed towards her. I will forever be grateful for that. It is difficult to teach... it just came natural to them.
There were many flowers, cards and treats dropped off. I am eternally grateful to live in such an amazing area surrounded by so many good friends, ward members and family. It has truly made me want to be a better person and friend. I feel so blessed.
Doing another release at our house with ALL our family... so sweet. Can't wait for the Temple:)
We had a few people who didn't know us, contact some of my family and tell them they saw Emmies balloons in the sky that evening and said they knew they were for her and how sweet it was to see them. Truly amazing.
Coop, Tay and Austin
Audra and Megan helping out of course:)
Elle and Dad
Ava and Soph leading the music... they love to be center of attention!
Us
My dad giving the lesson to our children on how we are the beneficiaries of Emmie and how we need to live our lives in order to get back to our Heavenly Father and be with Emmie. I felt her so strong during this. I love my dad and am grateful he is so in tune with the spirit. He always know what to say:)
Cousins writing their little message to Em.
Thanks to my sister Tracey for allowing me to steal her pictures. She is always there to pick up all the pieces for me!
3 comments:
I dont have anything to even say that is as good as the posts I have just read! You are an amazing mother and friend! I love you and your family so much and hope those moments of peace help take the sting away in some small way, just as we were all so blessed to have her be a part of our lives, she was a lucky princess to have such an amazing mother, father and family to love such a lovable girl!
XOXO
Thank you Tiffany and for sharing so much that is personal in your life. Your testimony is felt and inspires me to be a better person. I still pray for you and your family. I just wished I could have known Emmie. (I feel I do in a small way because you have shared so much about her life). What a special daughter of God she is and what a special mother and father she has here. I still want to get by and give you that book and CD and see your mom!!! Give her a big hug from me.
Nice post, Tiffany...and Emmie would be so happy that you all celebrated - even if she couldn't be there physically with you. But of course, we know she knew and was there. :)
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