Words of Comfort

This is Tracey, Tiffany's sister. 

 Jason emailed me this letter tonight and asked me if I would please put it on her blog.  He doesn't know how to work all this blog stuff (and as a matter of fact, I don't know if he has ever even looked at either of our blogs), so I am his errand girl! 

Tiff is so blessed to have such a sweet and supportive husband.  This letter brought tears to my eyes. They truly have an amazing relationship and if anyone would know what the real deal is... it would be me!  

Words Of Comfort

My Sweetheart Tiffany,

I am so sorry I have no words of comfort for you in this most trying time.  I can’t explain to you how helpless I feel at this time as I watch you mourn for the loss of our daughter.  I feel that I am usually capable of fixing our problems as they pour in, or at the very least providing you comfort.  Tonight I felt the same way as you as we went through our normal family home evening.  I confess, I found myself glancing down on the floor looking for Emmie.  I confess, I found myself looking for her to lead the music during the opening song. I confess, that I know now we are missing a spirit in our home and it hurts beyond words.  I am so sorry that I cannot find words of comfort for you.

I have never felt so helpless in my life.  Tonight as we watched Emmie’s video I felt her sweet spirit partially restored for a moment.  For a short time as we both sat there crying I felt connected to you both again and longed for that moment to freeze in time and to be set aside to provide comfort as long as we needed it.  What a sweet moment that was and again I am left alone with out comfort.  I wish the words of the Atonement and the Plan of Salvation continued to ease your pain, but I know that although we are strengthened and comforted in those principles of faith they alone cant replace the comfort of our daughter.

After family home evening tonight I decided to go for a run so I could clear my mind and find strength for you.  While I jogged around the neighborhood I searched my mind for words of comfort that maybe I have not yet spoken to you, but soon realized that I have said just about everything I know of.  So I started to listen to some conference talks from April.  One was on healing the Sick, which may be a little late.  Actually I read it in the hospital and it helped my understanding greatly.  Especially towards the end when Elder Oaks speaks of the Lords Will.  I know we have spoke of this together and have an understanding that Heavenly Father is in charge and has something else in mind.  So, while those words provided me comfort I did realize that they probably were not what you were looking for tonight.  The next talk I listened to was by President Uchtdorf, continue in patience.  I thought to myself for a second this is probably not a good one to talk with her about either.  How could I go to you and say, “Hon, have patience because you will see her again.”  So I thought to myself, forget that, but I decided to listen to it anyway.  And while I listened I found that this talk is very comforting and may be something you should hear.  He described Patience as-“the ability to put our desires on hold for a time, is a precious and rare virtue.  We want what we want and we want it now.  Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter.”  He goes on to say,” Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect.  Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace.”

“Patience means active waiting and enduring.  It means staying with something and doing all that we can-working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed.  Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well.”

I know telling you to have patience and wait is not going to help, but I wanted to tell you that these words lifted my Spirits for some reason.  I think it’s the part where he says,”it means staying with something (Emmie) and doing all that we can-working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship (missing Emmie) with fortitude (mental and emotional strength in difficulty) even when the desires of our hearts are delayed (being with our little angel Emmie). 

Later tonight I asked you what I can do to help you and you told me,”Bring back my daughter.”  If I could take away the pain I would gladly.  I know your heart is broken and it will be forever.  So, here are my words of comfort.  I Love you.  I love you more than I can love anything.  I have never been so close to you and the very thought of your heart being broken, breaks mine. I don’t understand either why she is gone, but I do know that I am grateful for the time and experience we shared with her for the last 8 ½ years.  What a remarkable time with a remarkable young girl.  I can’t help but to feel proud to have been chosen for such a great responsibility and experience.  I probably was not chosen, it was probably just you and I got to go along for the ride.  For that I am grateful.  I know you must have done something special in the pre-existence to earn the privilege of serving a choice spirit.  Remember what President Riggs told you,” She chose you.”  Tiffany I believe that with all my heart and know that your spirits are connected and forever will be.  Her presence may be gone from us, but her spirit is still around us.  Reach out to her and listen.  She never spoke one word to you, but some how you always knew when she needed something.  Her Spirit always spoke to you, and she still will if you pause and listen.  I love you and I am so incredibly blessed to have 4 beautiful women in my life.  I forever am indebted for the amount of blessings I have in my life.  Most importantly you.  I knew there was something special about you the moment I laid eyes on you in music class back in the 6 th grade.  Thank you for never giving up on me and making all my dreams come true!

Love,

Jason

Hard Night

 It's been a hard night. We began our new routine today. Ava started school and dance, Elsies first day of preschool. I should be excited right? Not really. The reality when I went upstairs to get Avas clothes (Ava and Emmie share the same closet) layed out kinda hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. No bus came at 8:15. Family scriptures and prayer just wasn't the same without my Em bug there. No strawberry shortcake playing on the kitchen tv as I was getting lunches and bags packed. After the girls were off to school I got the remainder of the stuff wrapped up at the mortuary with my hubby, mom and dad. It was nice to have closure in that area but it hit me very hard. Now the reality of life going on and my heart trying to heal. I don't think it ever will but J gave me a book that I started reading tonight. Here are couple quotes from some prophets that helped me.




In the resurrection the spirit will re-enter it's body, which initially will be in exactly the same state as when the spirit left it. Bodies that were sick, infirm or deformed will then be restored to heath and perfection, apparently almost instantly– as Amulek says, to a "proper and perfect frame." (Alma 11:43.) Nor will age at time of death determine a resurrected being's appearance. President Joseph Fielding Smith said:


Old people will not look old when the come forth from the grave. Scars will be removed. No one will be bent or wrinkled.... Of course, children who die do not grow in the grave. They will come forth with their bodies as they were laid down, and then they will grow to the full stature of manhood or womanhood after the resurrection, but all will have their bodies fully restored. 


Thus we know that those who lose little children and are worthy will not only be reunited with them but will have the blessing and opportunity of raising them in the glorious circumstances of the resurrection. Joseph Smith gave total assurance regarding the place of small children who die.


The lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of the present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.

How nice to know that I get Emmie back at the age of 8 1/2 and have the opportunity to raise her. That is such a miraculous gift. What a sweet promise. I am grateful for that knowledge to know if I do my part, I get to be with her again. I know I will have tough days ahead but with reading, praying and searching my scriptures, I will endure.

Today was Perfect!

Today was perfect. I felt the spirit so strong as I walked into the stake center. I knew Emmie was with us. I am going to miss her more than anything in this world. I would give up everything to have her for another year. She was such a happy little girl with a smile that could light up a room. I will miss her sweet spirit that has presided in our home over the last 8 1/2 years. It is a feeling of comfort that I can't explain. We definitely feel a sense of emptiness in our home now. My husband and I were truly honored to be able to stand as witnesses and testify of the wonderful experiences we were able to share with Emmie throughout her life. We could have talked for hours about her and how sweet she was. The entire day was perfect. We felt the love of others around us and felt like Heavenly Father was carrying us. It was so comforting. I can't begin to explain how truly grateful we are for the amount of people that came to support us and Emmie. We were overwhelmed and truly amazed by the amount of service that was dedicated to our family over the 10 days. Your prayers, kind words and thoughts have reached our home and it is a miracle in itself to be on the receiving end of something so wonderful as this. Thank you, thank you for the bottom of our hearts. I have felt so lifted and so much closer to my Heavenly Father. I feel his love... I really do. I look forward to the day I am reunited with my precious Emmie.

(Here are a couple pictures that my friend Kristyn has taken during this difficult time in my life. She is an angel and I can't express how grateful I am to have amazing friends. They have taught me how to be a better friend.)

I will forever cherish this photo... So precious

Thanks again... I am upset that I haven't been blogging and will be better. I have so much to share over the last 10 days. They have been very special to me and I know I will never forgive myself if I don't document them.

Please Pray for Emmie...

This is Tracey, Tiffany's sister.

As many of you may know, Emmie is in the PICU at Desert Samaritan hospital. If you want to know why... please go here to be updated on her status. Emmie, Tiffany, Jason and their girls need your prayers at this difficult time. Emmie is a precious angel that we love so much and are pleading that the Lord will heal her back to her normal state. Tiffany wants more than anything, to continue to serve Emmie here on this earth. Please pray for the Check family and go to my blog, I will try to update it as we learn more on Emmie's condition.

Guess what....

GUESS WHAT?!?

We are going to be "BIG SISTERS" again in November... and we couldn't be happier!

(Elsie isn't really scared.... it is just impossible for me to get a cute picture of the 3 of them)

♥ XOXO ♥

I love Valentines Day and I'm so lucky to be able to share it with my best friend. He doesn't love Valentines day(he claims it's a marketing scam) but he sure does a good job! He remembered on his own to send the girls flowers to their school on Friday and also sent me beautiful roses. We went out on sat. night to Mastro's city hall.... It was so yummy. Thanks hon... your the best!

Since I was a little girl, I can always remember my dad sending me these candy bouquets to school. It has always been a tradition of his. I loved getting them every year. I have the best dad ever. Jason has taken on this tradition and he loves it as well. This is Avas first year receiving them at school, she was in Kindergarten last year. When I picked her up, she came out and said, "why did dad send these to school, we are suppose to get them at home?" She might have been embarrassed. Maybe I liked this tradition a little better than she does. She better get used to it!!

Emmie loves receiving her flowers every year!

My dad has continued the tradition every year. It is always different. This year, he sent us yummy chocolate covered strawberries that were scrumptious.... thanks dad! (woops... I couldn't help but eat one before the camera came out.. typical)

Jason is always good about sending me roses. At the beginning of our marriage, my dad stood him up a couple of times. I don't think he will ever forget again!!

So pretty

That's right... he's finally admitting he was in love with me when he first met me with my clear/yellow braces. I fell in love too when I layed my eyes on his curly mullet while wearing his muscle shirts in music class. Nothing like elementary school.... love at first sight!

As a little girl, I loved coming home from school with a table decorated and baked goods on the table. We loved opening our little Valentine gift. I do the same for my kids. They loved their cute jammies I got them and their jewelry. Girls are so much fun!!

Here's Ava before church. She was insistent on wearing these Valentine heart tights. I told her it was going to be hot out. She didn't care.

Our little Annie before church. I stayed home with Em. She didn't feel well. She is doing a little better today.

I hope everyone had a great Valentines! I am sad to take all my decorations down. I truly love this day. It's such a fun day to share our extra love to our spouses and kids! xoxo

It's FINALLY gone

This tooth has been driving me NUTSO!!! Ava is a very sensitive child. Every time I have tried to pull this tooth, she is left in tears and won't even come near me. It has been hanging by a thread for over a month. No Joke! I have tried to have Jason try to talk her in to pulling it, but she wanted nothing to do with it. Then, I talked Grandma Bella in to wrapping floss around it and once she got it there I told her to yank it hard, but Ava flipped, so we had to take it off. I have tried several times to pull it in the middle of the night but she wakes up. I know... I am mean but dang I can't seem to be able to look at it anymore. Anyhow... finally on Saturday night it fell out in her sleep. Hallelujah!!! She came and woke me up (I had no idea what time it was, but it was dark out) to tell me about it. I was excited but rolled over. Later, after I woke, I found out she called aunt Tracey and Grandma Bella very early to tell them too! Sorry guys.. she was one excited little girl!

Look at that beautiful smile... so much better!

She was so excited to put her tooth in her little fairy bag. The tooth fairy was very generous and left her $5. A month earlier I told her I would give her $10 to pull it but that wasn't going to cut it.

Yes, go ahead and judge me.... our kids sleep in our bedroom. Do you like her air mattress? Pathetic, I know. She's not complaining so who cares?!?!

She was excited about her money but when she walked out the door monday morning I said, "make sure and put your money in a safe spot and don't forget to pay your tithing." She said, "nope, I'm not going to pay it, thats called wasting money mom." I said, "I guess I know what our Family home Evening lesson is going to be on tonight." She replied, " BLAH BLAH BLAH."

Wow!!! I guess I know what else we will be discussing. She was up till 10pm doing dishes for the bad attitude she has had lately. I can't wait to see what decision she makes on Sunday with her tithing. I think it will be the right one. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the teenage years! Gotta love that cute girl, she growing up right in front of my eyes.

Potty training

Is it just me or is she the cutest thing you have ever seen? Ok... maybe I am a little biased but this girl does it to me lately. She has been so fun, to the point we don't want her to nap. Imagine that! I am sure it's just a phase because I know 2 yr olds can be pains but lately... she has been hilarious and fun! 2 weeks ago she decided she "might" want to be potty trained. It only lasted a couple days but I had to snap a picture. She tells us every time when she goes potty in her diaper but I don't think she is ready, just interested. She hasn't officially pottied yet but she sure likes to sit there and try.

I love my little Annie. She sure does a good job at keeping us all laughing!

and a fake wipe just to emulate us.

I love her!