Another Strawberry year...

I have been thinking about this birthday since the day she was born. Is she going to make it to 8? The Dr's said no... we thought otherwise and were right. Here we are... happy and healthy as can be! Jason and I over this past year have been going through a lot with trying to decide whether or not we should baptize our little girl. What would she want? We have been praying and fasting for quite some time now and are so happy with our decision. We decided to not baptize her because she is already perfect and there is no need. She is not capable of committing sin. How special is that? It was heart wrenching at times because thats what most 8 year olds choose to do. It was another thing she "couldn't" do. But we know our prayers were answered and our decision for her was the right one. So, we wanted to include her in on the special day with the other 8 year olds in our stake. There were only 2 other kids so it was very quaint. It couldn't have turned out more perfect. Her dad gave a talk on Baptism and I couldn't stop crying. He held it together until he spoke to Emmie. It was special. While the other kids were being baptized, we had my dad (Emmies grandpa) give her a blessing. It was so sweet. The blessing reminded me of the way I felt about her when she was born. I remember having many hours holding her in the NICU the month she was there right after her birth. I wanted to know "why?" I couldn't wait to find out where this journey would take me. I remember feeling so special that my Father in Heaven trusted me with this sweet spirit that was going to teach me so much. I knew she had choosen to come to this earth and gain a body and that she was here for us. To teach us. Thats it. How lucky we are to have an angel in our home teaching our family the important lessons we need to learn through this life. My father reminded me of that in his blessing to her that day. It was perfect. I felt so good and I knew our prayers were answered and that we had made the right decision.

So, we decided at the last minute to have her birthday party the same day since my family was going to be here for her special day. We had fun and here are some pictures that my sister took. She is always so willing to take over with her camera at events of mine. Thanks Trac, your the best!

I made Emmie a video for her 8th birthday and have been looking back at videos and realized, this is the 7th Strawberry Shortcake birthday party. This girl is obsessed.... and if Emmie is happy, so are we!

I thought her cake turned out darling

Love this picture of her.

We had "bubbles" come again and entertain the kiddos. Emmie can't get enough of those bubbles, she loves them.

Taylor and Emmie

Sophie and Macey. Thanks to "bubbles" I have confetti all over my front yard. I think it will take lots of mowing till it's all gone.

Grandma Bella and Grandma McCleve

Dad, Grandpa and Cannon

The kids lined up to get their faces painted!

Mom and Em bug

Dad and Elsie

Miss Sophie

Sisters and sister in law

Simas clan and Em

SISTERS

Snaggle tooth and Emmie (I have been trying to pull that tooth out for weeks now. It is still hanging there and drives me crazy every time I look at her. I tried pulling it in the middle of the night but she woke up screaming. woops!!!

Grandma Cindy with Emmie

I know... these looked cute online and they are already headed back. They look like elf shoes instead of slippers.

Grandpa McCleve and Austin

Grandma Bella and Em

Taylor and aunt Tracey

Bubbles is even entertaining us!

I don't think Elsie even ate lunch that day... candy, candy, candy.

Cousins having fun upstairs

Did I mention how much I love this girl?!?!

Happy Birthday to our sweet Emmie. Her smile lights up the room. She is so blessed to have so many grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends that love her so much and came to support her. She looked so beautiful and brought tears to my eyes every time I looked at her. She completes our family and we love her so much!

♥Life is good♥

Emmies special day...

We are so excited for your special day....

You are our Angel!

8 is great!

I have to say... this day has felt so far away. 8 years ago today, my first born was born. I had dreams of being a mom for the first time and taking that journey everyone had talked about. I had no idea my life that day would change forever. After she was born and rushed to the hospital, I arrived 5 hours later to see her. My mom and dad pulled me into a room and told me news about my baby girl that I thought I would never hear. I was a very naive 25 year old when it came to knowledge regarding a disability or how children become disabled. I had never "thought" about it. My life felt like it was falling apart that day. It was. It took a while to finally accept my "new" life. But, once I did, I fell in love with it. Sure, there were some very trying times that most couples never face in a marriage. The Dr's told us our divorce rate would rise 80% from the norm. They told us she might make it to age 8. They told us she would never recognize us or know us. They told us she was deaf. I will never forget them sitting us down trying to talk us out of giving her more chances on the ventilator. How could a parent even think of letting go? I couldn't. I was ready to take on the challenge... and we did. Yes, we were young but one thing we were taught was to rely on prayer and priesthood blessings instead of the Drs and their statistics. We went home with her not knowing what to do. She would have to teach us, instead of us teaching her. And she is, still to this day. I have made many mistakes, I am sure. But she accepts me, loves me and continues to cheer me on. She keeps me on the straight and narrow. She teaches her sisters unconditional love, she teaches grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins what life is really about and whats most important. She has taken us down a road to teach us the "pure love of Christ". We have endured so much together but through it, it has made our family stronger. We have beat the odds and I am so proud of her and how brave she is. She is such a fighter and has a smile that will light up the room. I am so grateful my Father in Heaven has entrusted me with her. She is such a special spirit that loves us so much... almost as much as we love her.

Happy 8th Birthday Emmie! We made it!!

Emmie around 6 months

Isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen?!?

Emmie 4 months

She had the stinkin cutest laugh!

Good Start?

Didn't I say 2010 was our year? I am trying to be positive but we aren't starting out too great! I am trying to view our accident as a blessing because we are here and alive. It truly could have been so much worse.
It was monday afternoon and our friends called to see if we wanted to go to dinner. I was feeling like a total slacker that day and of course said, "yes!" We had a great time with them. We left the restaurant to grab the girls from dance. They got in the car, started eating their dinner and we were on our way home to have family night. Sure enough... we were driving on San Tan getting ready to pass the 202 and a car turned into us as we were going 50 mph through the intersection. She hit us, we spun and hit the overpass concrete wall. I felt like I was in a movie. All I can remember is my husband screaming as we were being hit and spinning. My kids were all crying really hard. We thought our car was on fire due to all the air bags and the smell they put off. As we were trying to escape our car, none of the doors would open. Jason panicked and jumped across me to my seat and kicked my door open. We both jumped out and got all the kids. Our adrenalin was going. Ava and Elsie were screaming pretty hard because they we both bleeding pretty bad. Elsie's mouth and Avas eye. Emmie and Kali were both pretty calm. The firefighters kept directing to Emmie asking all sorts of questions. I had to inform them it was her natural tone. They sadly remembered her from the other night. We believe Emmie had her angels watching over her. All I could feel was my front tooth feeling like it was gone and my stomach was in pretty bad shape. Ava and I were both transferred to the hospital. She had her eye stitched up. That was an experience I will never forget. Poor thing! I got a cat scan and had some major bruising and now have some knots in my stomach where the blood is clotting. It is very swollen. Now it looks like I'm 9 months preggo instead of 7.
It's been an eventful week... no car, dental appts, PT appts and Dr. appts. I have had a new friend (Miss Ava) following me around everyday because shes embarrassed to attend school. Hopefully next week the swelling will go down.
I'm not sure why my family has had this as a trial this week, but I am sure I will find out. I was just on my way to mental recovery with Emmies blanket accident. We are surely blessed though to have all been in seat belts and be able to have minor injuries.
So ladies.... please don't text and drive at the same time. That is what I believe the lady that hit us was doing. She was clearly not paying attention and didn't even come close to seeing us as she plowed head on to us.
Thanks to all my friends and family that have been amazing! I seriously have the BEST friends and family members. Hopefully this month will run a little more smooth.

I'll spare you my stomach pictures (especially after the holidays), but here are a couple of our sweet Ava....

At the hospital

Tuesday morning

(thanks for the balloons aunt Tracey and Soph)

We are so grateful Tracey forgot about dance and Sophie wasn't in our car. That would have been a typical monday night with no school the next day. Such a blessing.

Wednesday

Thursday

Would you send your daughter to school?!?

Second Chance

This is why I am blogging again. I HAVE to document my life and experiences so I don't forget. The good and the bad. I feel so blessed. I had the 2nd scariest night of my life December 30, 2009, a night I will never forget.

It was a COLD day. Fires were all on. Hot Chocolate was being prepared. I was on the phone with my sister Carrie, cooking dinner, talking about our New Year Eve party and I asked my daughter Ava to go check on Emmie (Emmie was sleeping on my bed, taking a late nap cuddled in a warm blanket up to her shoulders with our fireplace on). Ava reported back and said, "yes mom, she is still sleeping." I waited another 20 minutes before checking on her doing my thing that moms do, trying to finish dinner, cleaning house and waiting for Jason to get home. I had an impression to check on her again, so I did. As I walked in my bedroom, I knew something was not right. Her face was wrapped in the blanket. I turned her over and her body tone was much different than normal. I turned the lights on because it was dark out. Pulled the blanket off and found my daughter blue from head to toe. I screamed, hung up the phone and called 911. I thought I lost her. The lady on the phone couldn't understand me. I couldn't get Em to respond to me. I won't go into much detail but her eyes were rolled back, it was not good. I was yelling at the lady, "my baby is gone, HELP!" I was shaking her and nothing. I was blowing on her face and nothing. I don't know why, but I decided to pick her up and run outside to the cold to help stimulate her. Probably not very smart, but I was desperate. 911 advised me to go back in and lay her on her back. I couldn't, she wouldn't make it unless I got her to respond to me soon. I knew that the cold always helped stimulate her. Finally... she took a very small, slow breathe. Her color on her face started to come back. It felt like the paramedics were taking FOREVER. They finally arrived cut her clothes off, gave her oxygen, gave her an IV. Her hands and feet were still blue at this point. They said it's the last thing to come back. I don't think I have ever felt so alone. I didn't even think to pray. I just panicked. Then, when I realized she was going to make it, I felt so much comfort. I knew the Lords hand was with us. We spent the remainder of the night at the hospital doing tests, making sure it didn't cause more damage. We were safe. Jason met me at the hospital. I felt safe. I was very grateful that night for 911. What would we do without them? I later found out that she was struggling when Ava checked on her. She mentioned that she was breathing different than normal. I don't know how long she was struggling, I don't want to know. Ava cried that night as we went to bed scared. I think it changed their relationship for the better. She has been different to her. Less than 2 weeks from her 8th birthday and I thought I lost my first born. I felt like the worst mom on the planet that night, I don't think I could have ever forgiven myself. The night she was born was replaying over and over again in my head. I bore my testimony in church today and told briefly what had happened. 2 different people came up to Jason after and told him they had a dream that she had passed that night. I will forever be grateful to my Heavenly Father for a second chance with this precious spirit that lightens up my day. She keeps me going and I love her more than anything. I believe things happen for a reason. I still haven't figured out what I'm suppose to learn from this accident. Maybe to not rely on my other children so much? I can't imagine one day without her. I love my Heavenly Father and I know he loves us. I feel it.

Goodbye 09.....

......... hello 2010. We are anxious to see what you have to bring.

We wanted to start the New Years off with a BANG this year. We are hoping that 2010 is a great year?!? Anyone that knows my husband is aware that 10 is "his" number. He claims he owns it. That being said, we are hoping and praying for a great year! JASON decided to throw a New Years eve party for our family and extended family. It was all his idea and it was pretty nice because for the first time, he took care of everything!! I was a little skeptical at first at what he had up his sleeve but I must say, he did a great job. He hired a company to come in and play card games, "vegas style"! It was all play money but there were some prizes and activities that made it very exciting! We had a blast and want to do it again next year. These pictures aren't great because they were the companies pictures. I was having too much fun to lift my camera!

One of the blackjack tables... my favorite!

Tracey, Steph and Cooper chatting

This dealer was a hoot! I couldn't stop laughing when she came out of the bathroom and changed into her costume!

If you ran out of money, you had to find a piece of gum in a pie pan full of whip cream or karaoke. It was so fun to watch those that ran out quickly!

Another blackjack table

The craps table was a BIG hit!

Megan and I losing our chips way too fast!

The poker table that was very lucky! Ira was one of the big winners of the night!

The Lundell gang!

My sisters and nephew got in on the action

How about this dealer? She is pretty hot!!

Thanks to all our family who rang in the New Years with us. I am so glad all my family was in town and we got to share the night with each other. We had such a great time and are excited to reach and obtain all our goals. They will be reviewed this monday for family night. I am excited for this year to come and I know it's going to be a great one!