8 is great!

I have to say... this day has felt so far away. 8 years ago today, my first born was born. I had dreams of being a mom for the first time and taking that journey everyone had talked about. I had no idea my life that day would change forever. After she was born and rushed to the hospital, I arrived 5 hours later to see her. My mom and dad pulled me into a room and told me news about my baby girl that I thought I would never hear. I was a very naive 25 year old when it came to knowledge regarding a disability or how children become disabled. I had never "thought" about it. My life felt like it was falling apart that day. It was. It took a while to finally accept my "new" life. But, once I did, I fell in love with it. Sure, there were some very trying times that most couples never face in a marriage. The Dr's told us our divorce rate would rise 80% from the norm. They told us she might make it to age 8. They told us she would never recognize us or know us. They told us she was deaf. I will never forget them sitting us down trying to talk us out of giving her more chances on the ventilator. How could a parent even think of letting go? I couldn't. I was ready to take on the challenge... and we did. Yes, we were young but one thing we were taught was to rely on prayer and priesthood blessings instead of the Drs and their statistics. We went home with her not knowing what to do. She would have to teach us, instead of us teaching her. And she is, still to this day. I have made many mistakes, I am sure. But she accepts me, loves me and continues to cheer me on. She keeps me on the straight and narrow. She teaches her sisters unconditional love, she teaches grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins what life is really about and whats most important. She has taken us down a road to teach us the "pure love of Christ". We have endured so much together but through it, it has made our family stronger. We have beat the odds and I am so proud of her and how brave she is. She is such a fighter and has a smile that will light up the room. I am so grateful my Father in Heaven has entrusted me with her. She is such a special spirit that loves us so much... almost as much as we love her.

Happy 8th Birthday Emmie! We made it!!

Emmie around 6 months

Isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen?!?

Emmie 4 months

She had the stinkin cutest laugh!

Good Start?

Didn't I say 2010 was our year? I am trying to be positive but we aren't starting out too great! I am trying to view our accident as a blessing because we are here and alive. It truly could have been so much worse.
It was monday afternoon and our friends called to see if we wanted to go to dinner. I was feeling like a total slacker that day and of course said, "yes!" We had a great time with them. We left the restaurant to grab the girls from dance. They got in the car, started eating their dinner and we were on our way home to have family night. Sure enough... we were driving on San Tan getting ready to pass the 202 and a car turned into us as we were going 50 mph through the intersection. She hit us, we spun and hit the overpass concrete wall. I felt like I was in a movie. All I can remember is my husband screaming as we were being hit and spinning. My kids were all crying really hard. We thought our car was on fire due to all the air bags and the smell they put off. As we were trying to escape our car, none of the doors would open. Jason panicked and jumped across me to my seat and kicked my door open. We both jumped out and got all the kids. Our adrenalin was going. Ava and Elsie were screaming pretty hard because they we both bleeding pretty bad. Elsie's mouth and Avas eye. Emmie and Kali were both pretty calm. The firefighters kept directing to Emmie asking all sorts of questions. I had to inform them it was her natural tone. They sadly remembered her from the other night. We believe Emmie had her angels watching over her. All I could feel was my front tooth feeling like it was gone and my stomach was in pretty bad shape. Ava and I were both transferred to the hospital. She had her eye stitched up. That was an experience I will never forget. Poor thing! I got a cat scan and had some major bruising and now have some knots in my stomach where the blood is clotting. It is very swollen. Now it looks like I'm 9 months preggo instead of 7.
It's been an eventful week... no car, dental appts, PT appts and Dr. appts. I have had a new friend (Miss Ava) following me around everyday because shes embarrassed to attend school. Hopefully next week the swelling will go down.
I'm not sure why my family has had this as a trial this week, but I am sure I will find out. I was just on my way to mental recovery with Emmies blanket accident. We are surely blessed though to have all been in seat belts and be able to have minor injuries.
So ladies.... please don't text and drive at the same time. That is what I believe the lady that hit us was doing. She was clearly not paying attention and didn't even come close to seeing us as she plowed head on to us.
Thanks to all my friends and family that have been amazing! I seriously have the BEST friends and family members. Hopefully this month will run a little more smooth.

I'll spare you my stomach pictures (especially after the holidays), but here are a couple of our sweet Ava....

At the hospital

Tuesday morning

(thanks for the balloons aunt Tracey and Soph)

We are so grateful Tracey forgot about dance and Sophie wasn't in our car. That would have been a typical monday night with no school the next day. Such a blessing.

Wednesday

Thursday

Would you send your daughter to school?!?

Second Chance

This is why I am blogging again. I HAVE to document my life and experiences so I don't forget. The good and the bad. I feel so blessed. I had the 2nd scariest night of my life December 30, 2009, a night I will never forget.

It was a COLD day. Fires were all on. Hot Chocolate was being prepared. I was on the phone with my sister Carrie, cooking dinner, talking about our New Year Eve party and I asked my daughter Ava to go check on Emmie (Emmie was sleeping on my bed, taking a late nap cuddled in a warm blanket up to her shoulders with our fireplace on). Ava reported back and said, "yes mom, she is still sleeping." I waited another 20 minutes before checking on her doing my thing that moms do, trying to finish dinner, cleaning house and waiting for Jason to get home. I had an impression to check on her again, so I did. As I walked in my bedroom, I knew something was not right. Her face was wrapped in the blanket. I turned her over and her body tone was much different than normal. I turned the lights on because it was dark out. Pulled the blanket off and found my daughter blue from head to toe. I screamed, hung up the phone and called 911. I thought I lost her. The lady on the phone couldn't understand me. I couldn't get Em to respond to me. I won't go into much detail but her eyes were rolled back, it was not good. I was yelling at the lady, "my baby is gone, HELP!" I was shaking her and nothing. I was blowing on her face and nothing. I don't know why, but I decided to pick her up and run outside to the cold to help stimulate her. Probably not very smart, but I was desperate. 911 advised me to go back in and lay her on her back. I couldn't, she wouldn't make it unless I got her to respond to me soon. I knew that the cold always helped stimulate her. Finally... she took a very small, slow breathe. Her color on her face started to come back. It felt like the paramedics were taking FOREVER. They finally arrived cut her clothes off, gave her oxygen, gave her an IV. Her hands and feet were still blue at this point. They said it's the last thing to come back. I don't think I have ever felt so alone. I didn't even think to pray. I just panicked. Then, when I realized she was going to make it, I felt so much comfort. I knew the Lords hand was with us. We spent the remainder of the night at the hospital doing tests, making sure it didn't cause more damage. We were safe. Jason met me at the hospital. I felt safe. I was very grateful that night for 911. What would we do without them? I later found out that she was struggling when Ava checked on her. She mentioned that she was breathing different than normal. I don't know how long she was struggling, I don't want to know. Ava cried that night as we went to bed scared. I think it changed their relationship for the better. She has been different to her. Less than 2 weeks from her 8th birthday and I thought I lost my first born. I felt like the worst mom on the planet that night, I don't think I could have ever forgiven myself. The night she was born was replaying over and over again in my head. I bore my testimony in church today and told briefly what had happened. 2 different people came up to Jason after and told him they had a dream that she had passed that night. I will forever be grateful to my Heavenly Father for a second chance with this precious spirit that lightens up my day. She keeps me going and I love her more than anything. I believe things happen for a reason. I still haven't figured out what I'm suppose to learn from this accident. Maybe to not rely on my other children so much? I can't imagine one day without her. I love my Heavenly Father and I know he loves us. I feel it.

Goodbye 09.....

......... hello 2010. We are anxious to see what you have to bring.

We wanted to start the New Years off with a BANG this year. We are hoping that 2010 is a great year?!? Anyone that knows my husband is aware that 10 is "his" number. He claims he owns it. That being said, we are hoping and praying for a great year! JASON decided to throw a New Years eve party for our family and extended family. It was all his idea and it was pretty nice because for the first time, he took care of everything!! I was a little skeptical at first at what he had up his sleeve but I must say, he did a great job. He hired a company to come in and play card games, "vegas style"! It was all play money but there were some prizes and activities that made it very exciting! We had a blast and want to do it again next year. These pictures aren't great because they were the companies pictures. I was having too much fun to lift my camera!

One of the blackjack tables... my favorite!

Tracey, Steph and Cooper chatting

This dealer was a hoot! I couldn't stop laughing when she came out of the bathroom and changed into her costume!

If you ran out of money, you had to find a piece of gum in a pie pan full of whip cream or karaoke. It was so fun to watch those that ran out quickly!

Another blackjack table

The craps table was a BIG hit!

Megan and I losing our chips way too fast!

The poker table that was very lucky! Ira was one of the big winners of the night!

The Lundell gang!

My sisters and nephew got in on the action

How about this dealer? She is pretty hot!!

Thanks to all our family who rang in the New Years with us. I am so glad all my family was in town and we got to share the night with each other. We had such a great time and are excited to reach and obtain all our goals. They will be reviewed this monday for family night. I am excited for this year to come and I know it's going to be a great one!

We're back...

We're back..... and we have some new resolutions, which include this blog. We are serious this time and getting after it. Welcome 2010... I know you'll be good to us! See you in a couple days.

A typical night....

A typical night at our house lately. The end is the best part. She is so bugged with Elle....

Last day of School

Can I just say how fast this school year went.... Oh my... I am at a loss for words at how sad I was at the end of this year. It reminded me of how I felt a couple years ago when Emmie graduated from FBC and moved onto a public school. IT was SCARY! Emmie is in a great program and I couldn't have asked for a better situation for her at this time in her life.

Ava... thats another story. She just graduated from Kindergarten and I didn't think I would be sad for her to go to 1st grade. WRONG! She was in a half day program with the best teacher ever. So sweet and sensitive, perfect for Ava. Her teacher put on the sweetest little program and lets just say the tears were flowing as I was watching my little girl sing the cutest songs ever and receive her little metal and certificate. You would have thought she was my last child graduating from Kindergarten but I was so emotional that morning thinking about how I will NEVER walk her up to her teacher again. She is going to be a big 1st grader and I am not sure how I feel about that. At least I have the summer for it to sink in. Here are some pictures of the girls last day of school....

Emmie getting on the bus. As you can tell, she just LOVES the bus. She didn't have an end of the year party but I had to snap a few on the way to school. Next year she will be a 2nd grader! Time is passing before my eyes.

Miss Emmie with Miss Theresa. Such a sweet bus driver. Some days I am running late (surprise, I know) and Miss Theresa will sit and wait in front of my house for me. I hope we get her again next year! She just adores Em bug and always makes her the cutest things.

Miss Ava singing one of the many songs that day. It was the sweetest thing.

Getting her metal and certificate

We sure are going to miss Mrs. Flanagan. As we were eating breakfast that morning Ava started to cry. I looked over and I asked what was wrong and she said she was going to miss Mrs. Flanagan. She said that she doesn't want to go to 1st grade, and wants to stay in Mrs. Flanagans class again next year. It was very sincere and sweet. We will see her in 3 yrs when Elsie enters Kindergarten!

Dad came to support his little princess and brought her some flowers

This is a picture I will cherish forever of Navie and Ava. Navie is my cousin Lees daughter. My sister and I were BFF/cousins with Lee and her brother Wil. We did everything together and were in the same classes etc. It is so fun to have our kids be the same!

Another one of Avas friends that she talks a lot about!

Although I will miss having Ava home with me every morning being my little buddy and having her play with Elle, I will not miss driving her to and from school for only 2 ½ hours. I'm not going to know what to do with myself and Elsie all day!!!!!!! I am sure I will figure out something! ☺

My baby turned 1 ....

a few months ago and I am so sad. She is growing up before my eyes. My sister came by today with her camera and got some cute shots of my little princess. We were having fun in photoshop with these photos. Elle has such a sweet personality and we are having so much fun with her. She absolutely ADORES her sisters as they do her. We had her bday party a couple months ago and I will be posting those soon.....

just love her beautiful eyes.

My all time favorite...

i could just squeeze her!